I'm here for you. Committing to counseling is an investment in your emotional and mental wellness, but the process can sometimes feel daunting. Here are some frequently asked questions and common curiosities I have encountered before beginning the counseling process.
I know the jokes we casually say. "Wine time is my therapy," or "Doesn't venting to my best friend count as therapy? At least they’re free." While connecting with loved ones and enjoying life's pleasures are comforting and therapeutic in their own ways, counseling is more than just having a conversation. It is an evidenced-based practice founded in behavioral and psychological sciences that requires years of formal education and training.
My role as your therapist will be to facilitate conversations during the session in an intentional manner. With you, I will process and explore difficult emotional and psychological areas of yours in a safe environment to understand them and adjust your reactions to them. However, I also strive to always remain aware and respectful of your limits, and I will not intentionally press an area if I believe it would cause you harm.
Counseling is often uncomfortable, and that is for a purpose. This is because change and resiliency occur outside of our comfort zone. We will address your fears and reservations together. You should expect that I will often ask questions that facilitate a deeper exploration and introspection of your life. We may even challenge your current beliefs for the purpose of broadening your perspectives.
Yes! In these calls, I learn a bit more about you and what challenges are occurring that have you seeking therapy. I also welcome questions and curiosities you may have about the counseling process that I can answer to make it seem less mystifying and more comfortable. I strive to connect with you within about 1-3 business days so we can set up a time to talk. These calls typically last about 15-20 minutes.
Have you ever heard...
“Get over it already.”
“It's been x months - isn't it time to move on?”
“Don’t you think you’re overreacting a bit?”
“You're being so sensitive/dramatic.”
“It could always be worse.”
“If I can get over it, so can you.”
“It is what it is.”
“You should just be grateful for what you have.”
“Don't be the squeaky wheel.”
“Don't let them see you cry.”
“Being vulnerable is a sign of weakness.”
“No pain, no gain.”
…or anything similar?
I have worked with clients who have heard these messages (and more), and I have watched the deep impact statements such as these have. Even if those messages were not explicitly stated, those messages can be implied through how clients were treated or watched others be treated.
While our loved ones (family, friends, educators, spiritual leaders, etc.) may have good intentions, these messages can leave us feeling devalued, small, and ashamed.
Understanding your past experiences, relationships, and behavioral patterns can provide insight into your present issues and long-term relief for a brighter, healthier, and more peaceful future. For this reason, therapists may ask you questions about your past experiences, to understand how they impact your present.
As Brene Brown says, “If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”
Some benefits to leaning into the bravery of therapy and sharing our struggles include: healing through empowering human and social connectedness; learning we are not alone and others also struggle (often with the very same thing); talking helps us process and discover more effective ways to communicate; we break down unhealthy and shaming stigmas; we develop self-acceptance; we find and experience support; we can support others in their struggles the more we learn about ourselves; we lessen the tendency to “bottle things up” and learn how to release the energy in healthy ways; our basic emotional needs for acceptance, feeling and being understood, and belonging are met; and we connect with our most authentic self – and we are at peace with who that authentic self is.
I am committed to your safety, privacy, and confidentiality. I will not disclose what we discuss in our sessions and your identity. However: Healthcare providers are Mandated Reporters who are required by law to report suspected abuse, neglect, and/or exploitation. What is shared in our counseling sessions will remain private and confidential unless you or others are in danger or at risk of harm, or unless you provide me with written permission in the form of a Release of Information (ROI).
In our first session together, I will explain in more detail the limits of confidentiality and answer any questions you have.
Should any issues arise that need a second professional opinion, it is recommended as best practice by the American Counseling Association that providers continue to seek supervision and consultation from other counselors in order to become more effective and provide ethical services. This does not mean that your identifying information will be shared; rather, the nature of the issue will be discussed.
That's okay! This is not uncommon in therapy. This is one reason why I offer and encourage a consultation call for you to determine if you initially feel comfortable and connect with me. I'm mindful that 15-20 minutes can be a short period of time, so you may not get all of the information you need to feel comfortable or connected.
Not all therapists are created equal, and we certainly do not claim perfection (it would be a problem if they did). You may be coming from a negative experience with a previous counselor. You may even come in with expectations about what you want and need in a counselor. It’s important to share these experiences and expectations to your counselor (with me or with any therapist you see) in the beginning so that they can have an opportunity to respond, repair, and discuss any misconceptions, misunderstandings, or misassumptions.
If you feel this way during your work with me, it is encouraged you share these concerns. This will allow me (or any therapist you work with) to model a healthy dialogue and provide an opportunity to repair any injuries to the therapeutic relationship you have that could or might get in the way of connecting.
I care deeply about the therapeutic relationship I create with you. If you are feeling misunderstood or uncared for by me, I would welcome and invite a check-in conversation about how the process is going for you, including talking through any interpersonal conflicts, potential moments of transference (“projection”), or symptoms that may be getting in the way of connecting. We may even find that some of these feelings and thoughts may have to do with some of the reasons you came to seek therapy in the first place. This could potentially be a very healing conversation with other benefits of how to work through interpersonal conflict and difficult dialogues with others outside of the therapy session.
If you still feel you are unhappy with me as your therapist, I would like to provide you with external referrals to help you in your search to find a new counselor that better fits your needs, personally or clinically. I understand that a healthy fit is important, and your healing is my priority. This is optional, but I ultimately want to assist and support you in your journey—whether that is with me or someone else!
If you are experiencing a dangerous or life-threatening emergency, psychiatric or medical, you should call 9-1-1 immediately and go to your nearest hospital for emergency services. You may also contact pre-selected family members or reliable friends to assist you with your situation, including your mental state and transportation. Still Waters Counselling is not a crisis therapy service, and your therapist does not provide 24/7 on call services, inpatient, or acute outpatient treatment.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24/7 service and can be reached by calling or texting 9-8-8. Below are additional helpful crisis outreach resources:
Choose from your local Community Service Board
Don’t Call the Police (Community-Based Resources for Emergencies)
The Right Response (Community-Based Resources for Mental Health Emergencies)
Domestic Violence: 1-800-799-7233; Text “SUPPORT” to 741741. Apps: “Noonlight,” “Aspire News,” “bSafe”
Self-Harm: 1-800-366-8288; Text “CONNECT” to 741741. App: “myPlan”
Bullying: 1-800-420-1479; Text “HOME” to 741741.
LGBTQIA+: 1-866-488-7386; Text “START” to 678678.
Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673; Text “HOME” to 741741.
Abortion: 1-866-439-4253; Text “HELPLINE” to 313131.
Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss: 1-800-944-4773; Text “HELLO” to 741741.
National Human Trafficking Hotline: Text “HELP” to 233733. App: “BeFree”
Grief: 1-800-445-4808; Text “CARE” to 839863.
Eating Disorders: 1-800-931-2237; Text “NEDA” to 741741.
Substance abuse/Addiction: 1-800-662-4357; TTY: 1-800-487-4889
Mental Health: 1-800-950-6264; Text “NAMI” to 741741. App: “Crisis Text Line (CTL)”
Veteran Crisis Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
My schedule is structured throughout the week to meet the needs of my clients who require late-day availability (such as after work and/or school) as well as early mornings (before work/school). I see clients Monday through Friday.
We will work together to find a time that can be consistent and comfortable for you.
This is a common curiosity. It does not happen much, but it feels like it might, and it certainly has for me before. Should we see each other when we are out in public, I will not (and cannot) acknowledge you unless you speak with me first.
More importantly, you should know that I don’t have therapy-related conversations in public. If you need to spend a few minutes talking with me between sessions, not a problem - just follow any one of the avenues we’ve talked about to contact me, and I will happily make time to talk with you. It’s not going to happen should you see me and say hello at the grocery store.
A great percentage of my clients classify as neurodivergent, a page full of information can be a overwhelming amount of information to read! The bolded words help capture your attention and get information across in a more approachable way.
